What to say on day 0? I've managed to be mostly very rah rah shish koom bah about the whole thing up until now, but please indulge me my small minute of melancholy. Last night it hit me that I am on the edge of a cliff. It wasn't a good feeling. I've destroyed my marrow and blood cells to the point that I can't regenerate them again myself, most likely. So technically, I'm already dead unless these new cells save me. And they will. Save me, I mean. But that is why a lot of people refer to their transplant day as their new birthday. You are quite literally born all over again, you get another chance at life. So there is some magnitude to this day.
My old immune system did a really good job for me up until now. I hate to let it go entirely, but mostly I'll just be grateful I had it get me this far. I welcome the new baby cells, and since we'll be starting over immune-wise, we have a lot of work to do together. So while I do still feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff here, I'm feeling pretty good today. I'm pretty ready to jump.
16 comments:
Happy Rebirthing Day, Jessie! Well with the Autumn Equinox and the Full Moon happening - it seems like a perfect time for fresh starts and new beginnings. I LOVE YOU, dear friend! Yes, these new cells will save you. Ready, set, jump! xoxo
Yes, I'm a nerd who remembers your astrological sign. I read this last night and thought it was pretty amazing. Happy rebirth! L'chaim!
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In his opening comments on an episode of
his TV show, Stephen Colbert announced, "I have butterflies in my
stomach. I just ate a cocoon quesadilla." If I'm reading the omens
correctly, you, too, will soon have fluttering sensations in your gut, but
not because of your food choices. Rather, you're likely to be quivery and
atwitter due to encounters with the Great Unknown -- arrivals from
beyond the Wild Blue Yonder that will blow your mind and recalibrate your
philosophy of life. Don't worry. Your appointments with the numinous are
likely to be stirring, even awe-inspiring, but not frightening. P.S. You
should celebrate the fact that you feel free enough to go exploring so far
and wide. -Rob Brezny
Ditto to Andrea. Today is a great day for a new begining! Seems like the whole universe is aligned and ready for your new birthday. Go baby cells, go!
I've been waiting and waiting for this day! I LOVE YOU!
Jessie, my family and I keep you in our minds and prayers. Be strong!
Pav
Since you will be born all over again, does that mean you have to repeat school? Re-marry Brett? I'm assuming you would pick him again :)
Here's a toast to the new cells.
Hmm, would love to write some wise, motherly words of inspiration. And maybe one day I'll have them to write. In the meantime. I walk next to you...always. With my love, Mom
Gar and I think of you every day and send good vibes your way. That cliff will get farther away each day with all those new cells making good things happen.
Love Robin and Gary
This is the beginning of getting you back. You will do this as you always do--very well and with immense admiration from off of us who know you. I will bring triple chunk brownies tomorrow, food of the gods.
Think of them as cute little puppies running around your system playing with each other and seeing who gets the treat first. Figures I'd bring dogs into it. I'm thinking and praying hard and hoping most of all, for you having excitement at your rebirth. Love ya lots!
Can I comment twice?
I was thinking it's really more like base jumping, sure you jump off the cliff but that beautiful big chute of baby cells is going to balloon out and bring you back to earth, though might make you a little sick to your stomach and maybe you twist an ankle...
Yes, you would think that I would have other things to do.
Hi Jessie, I hope that you can keep posting, even if it's only a few humorous or semi-tragic words. Hopefully it can even sometmes feel like my awesome skydive. When my ex-boss approached me to jump, I felt that you would be proud of me, which made for a dramatic no-turning-back feeling.
Yes, I too have another post!
I, of course, remember your first birth. It was quite stunning. I didn't have on my glasses and kept yelling, "But I can't see! I don't have on my glasses!" I was also really, really young to have a baby...but was never too young to have you as it turned out. So your second birth. Hmm. Perhaps as painful, but as glorious. And, as filled with no regrets!~
My love. Mom
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